i want to save the world

Tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I will explain in detail later :)

Sincerely, Beth.

I went shopping today.





That is all.

Sincerely, Beth.

When I was up till 4 AM last night, I probably should have thought about how I had two papers due on Tuesday and a night class Monday that would keep me away from my work till 10:30 PM. But I did not think these things when I should have thought them, so I have just managed to finish writing (a first draft) of one paper, and I am now awaiting my reading to finish printing so that I can write a paper on that tomorrow during my lunch break. Luckily neither paper was/will be very long, but it still is a lot of work once you consider all the reading that has to be done beforehand.

I wish I had considered THIS beforehand, due to the mental agony I am putting myself through right now.

Sincerely, Beth.

Tonight I had the room to myself and had nothing to do.

Kim happened to leave one of her books lying on the coffee table, and the title, "Skinny Bitch," intrigued me. So I ended up reading the entire book in one sitting.

I was pretty sure, before I started reading, that the book would mainly consist of weight loss techniques, with a basic "eat better foods and exercise more" message. However, it turned out that the book was advocating becoming a sugar-free vegan. And while they listed many animal-cruelty related reasons for this, I was really interested in all of the ways it really could make me healthier (provided I do it correctly). Because right now I'm always tired, depressed, and ache-y. And I am pretty sure my diet contributes to that, as well as some other physical/emotional ailments.

So, I have decided to give it a try. But not all at once, because becoming a sugar-free vegan means giving up the majority of the foods I eat now, and I don't think changing everything dramatically will make me want to keep up with it.

So today I conveniently ran out of chicken, and I have no other meat in my possession (besides some turkey deli meat, but I am pretty sure it has gone bad). So this week I will start with no more meat. Followed by no more caffeine. And from there it will go on, time and order depending on how hard certain things seem to be for me (but I will probably become vegan before I go sugar-free. Sugar is in so many things these days that it will be hard to get around without costing me a fortune).

I figure this will make its way on to my 1001 things list (I did say I wanted to give up caffeine for 6 months - why not forever?), since it seems to be a big life-changing-goal. But I like a good challenge every now and then.

Sincerely, Beth.

I think the internet is too big.

Which is disappointing, when the original positive aspect of the internet was to bring people together, to access information you wouldn't have otherwise been able to. But here I am, in a swamp of websites, and all I really want to do is simplify now.

I have a Facebook, I have a MySpace, I have a LJ, I have a Twitter, and also a MyFamily account which rarely gets checked. I wish I could delete my MySpace altogether, but I have cousins on there I would like to keep in contact with. Which I thought I wouldn't need, since the Debelak's are all on our MyFamily page, but these cousins don't use that site much at all. And they don't have Facebook, either.

I find Twitter pointless. I would like to find meaning to it, but there isn't any for me. I use my FB status to tell people how I feel or what I'm doing. I use my blog to tell specific people more in detail. And if I need to send a message to someone, well, that's what AIM/FB/email is for. Twitter, you are pointless, but I am required to have you for class.

I have three email addresses. I'd like to bring that down to two, but I am retarded when it comes to mail forwarding, it seems. Though Paul has said he will help me set it up, so hopefully that occurs soon.

I have two photo sharing accounts. Photobucket for uploading pictures to my journal (which rarely happens, it used to happen much more often in high school). Flickr, so that I can put up my Project 365 photos and share them with people and comment and network and blah blah blah.

There are many more, but my mind has been turned to mush by thinking about all of these things and I just need a break. I need to unplug myself, but I am not allowed. Sigh.

Sincerely, Beth.

(I have stopped numbering - it is confusing if I'm going to go back and forth between friends only and special groups and public, etc.)

I have fallen behind, due to my ridiculous sleep schedule. Actually, I could be doing this at 4:00 AM I suppose, but I just want to fall asleep then. But I can't.

Anyway.

[January 1st] Hung out with Paul for most of the day, just lounging around in his room. He brought me home around 5, and I don't think I did anything after that either.

[January 2nd] Went to see Yes Man with Sarah. We ended up being surrounded and hit on by sixteen year olds, and the only way to get them to stop talking was to hold their hands. The sacrifices I make for entertainment, you know?

[January 3rd] Pretty sure I did nothing.

[January 4th] Went out with my friend Tom, who I haven't seen in months. We went to see Seven Pounds (which was good, but a little confusing for a bit. I wish they had shown him actually helping 7 people more than focusing mainly on just one). Afterwards we went to Chilis and talked about High School memories. When I went to drop him off, he ended up roping me into watching Stranger Than Fiction with him at his house, along with his sister and her friends. I got home around one.

That's really all I have for you right now. Sorry. Maybe something interesting will happen before I go back to school. (Oh! But Paul and I have been dating for nine months today! That's something!)

Sincerely, Beth.

I have decided two things!

1. I am going to keep this layout. Now, I never mentioned specifically that I was going to change it, but I thought since I was in a lets-change-things mood I would try to find something. Turns out I can't find anything I like better, so it stays!

2. Instead of making every entry friends-only by default, I am going to make some friends-only, and some not. Because there are just some random and awkward things that happen to me that I have no need to hide or worry about. This also came about because my good friend Isaac wanted to link to my page, and I figure the people who click here should have something to read.

So, that's it. Hope everyone had a great New Year's celebration. I'll probably write about mine later/tomorrow.

Sincerely, Beth.

Friends Only.

I've been doing this journaling online for over four years now, and I've started to realize why letting everyone read it causes me a lot of unnecessary problems. I've almost become more of a character in a story rather than a human being with feelings. Therefore, I will probably only add people I only know through the internet, since I am tired of accidentally offending my friends and acquaintances. If you know me in person, you obviously have the ability to open your mouth and ask me what I've been up to that way. Not very hard.

Sincerely, Beth.

tautology: needless repetition of an idea, statement, or word.

First and foremost, I wish to state which may or may not be the obvious: I am a creature of habit. I sleep in the same position every night and I always use Blurty for my online journaling needs. However, I think all of my exboyfriends summed it up nicely when they told me, "Things change." And if things change, I see no reason why I can't change with them.

Okay, I know there isn't a huge difference between LiveJournal and Blurty. For all I know, they're owned by the same company. But the truth of the matter is I'm the only person I know who actually has a Blurty and uses it. I like having a Friends Page that actually has entries on it. I like knowing there are more than two active communities on LJ, and the main one isn't about 'emo lyrics'. I like being able to switch out my buddy icon based on what my entry is about. I like running around outside in my underwear.

(Maybe that last one has nothing to do with journaling sites, but it is nonetheless true.)

But despite all other facts and figures, I just wanted a new journal for college. My latest high school journal, for those of you who have been following my life via internet, was brought to a slow death started by what most may call 'high school drama'. After said occurence, my journal was made 'friends only' so I could monitor who saw what I wrote. So basically, I was left with about ten people who could actually read my entries, and those ten were mostly people I told all of my stories to in person anyway. It became pointless, I became bored, and entries became few and far between.

Hopefully that will change for the better. Before journaling was just a fun way for me to record all of the ridiculous events I have been present for, but now it's almost a way for some of my high school friends to stay up to date on the chaos that is my life. And maybe it can also be used as a helpful tool for the new friends I make to figure me out. Probably not, haha.

I would like to note that I'm not big on censoring myself. My vocabulary includes a few swear words, and I tend to use them from time to time. I also am not afraid to talk about things like body parts, sex, and the fact I currently have a bottle of lube in my purse. At times I also tend to go on rants about world events, religion, idiots I meet, and food (I am very serious about my food). And I'm okay with a well written rebuttal to whatever I say, but I'm also not against deleting stupid comments.

Conclusionally (I just decided it should be a word), I have no conclusion. I just hope you enjoy reading what I write as much as I enjoy writing it. Even if you may be a creepy forty-two year old from Nevada (If you are, please stop reading my journal).

Sincerely, Beth